


Nightly Prayers

by Morgana



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 13:15:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2852111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgana/pseuds/Morgana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam used to pray every night without fail</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nightly Prayers

Sam doesn't remember learning how to pray. Dad sure as hell didn’t teach him, nor did Dean or Bobby, and Pastor Jim had been forbidden to do more than teach them how to pronounce the Latin they would one day need to exorcise demons. He probably saw it on TV, like just about everything else that most people considered ‘normal’, and in his desperate hunger for something that wasn’t soaked in blood and gore and danger, he’d decided to try it. The first time had been on a night that Dad and Dean were off on a hunt. Left alone, worried about losing the only family he had, Sam knelt down by his bed, bowed his head, and prayed.

It felt good. Warm and reassuring, and he slept better that night than he had in years. He did it again the next night, and the one after that, and somehow it became a habit. Once Dean came back, he didn’t kneel down, but every night before he went to sleep, he offered up a prayer, to thank whatever was out there for his and his family’s lives, to ask for safety and the strength to eventually strike out on his own. When the acceptance letter came from Stanford, along with the offer of a full ride, he was sure his prayers were answered.

He kept praying all through college. The peace he found with his nightly prayers was sometimes the only thing that gave him the will to keep going, to stay and study instead of giving up on dreams and going right back to the life of seedy motels and monsters that he knew so well. He prayed after he met Jess, the words coming easier than ever as he gave thanks for her and the life they were going to have together. He forced himself to keep praying even after he lost her, apologies for not telling her sooner and a neverending wish that she was happy in Heaven. Sam prayed every night for years, so sure that there had to be something good out there to balance out the shit ton of bad, a true and loving God that would see that the things in the dark didn’t win in the end.

And then Dean died, ripped to shreds by hellhounds to fulfill a deal he'd made to save the brother that hadn't been able to save him in return. And after the worst summer of his life, Sam’s desperate, choked out prayers were answered. He got his brother back, raised from Hell by the hand of an angel. An angel who merely thought of Sam as ‘the boy with the demon blood.’ 

Sam quit praying that night.


End file.
